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Alex Zander’s DIARY OF A DAMNED MAN

“Diary of a Damned Man” is a regular personal blog and update column written by Alex Zander, the founder and publisher of M.K. Ultra Magazine.

Rather than focusing on the infamous CIA mind-control program, the column functions as an ongoing, personal log of Zander’s daily life, localized experiences, and ties to the music scene.

• Personal Life and Local Happenings: Zander shares casual, raw updates about daily routines, cycling, and hanging out at neighborhood spots in Chicago—such as grabbing drinks or dining at local staples such as Tac Quick, El Palmar or El Mariachi

• Music Subculture and Media Updates: The posts frequently tie into the rock ‘n’ roll, goth, industrial, and alternative subcultures that the magazine has covered since its founding in 1995. He shares commentary on media releases, like music physical editions and vinyl shipments.

• Lyric-Driven Openings: Entries are typically framed with high-energy rock or darkwave song lyrics that set a rebellious tone for each update

I keep chasing this tail but the tail gets bigger go figure. A thousand more stories keep the fires and flames alive. So how the fuck do I dream at night? With the memories of a borrowed death, the guilty past.

Its INSANE how much this looks exactly like Melita although I don’t think she’d ever wear anything that tight. This photo from Erika Teitell (Karlton’s daughter) made me very happy this week. Thank you! A… Read More »I keep chasing this tail but the tail gets bigger go figure. A thousand more stories keep the fires and flames alive. So how the fuck do I dream at night? With the memories of a borrowed death, the guilty past.

“At times like these when enemies can number more than friends, a friend indeed is what I need not someone who pretends.”

People who take pleasure in the downfall of others are almost always relieving pressure inside themselves. Someone else’s failure gives their ego a brief sense of elevation – “at least I’m not them”, or “at… Read More »“At times like these when enemies can number more than friends, a friend indeed is what I need not someone who pretends.”

The ALASKA Journey 2002

The ALASKA Journey 2002 Imagine yourself stepping back in time to a place where there are no phones, no TVs, and no sounds of the modern day technological world, yet plenty of comfort, which is… Read More »The ALASKA Journey 2002

The very first entry into Diary of a Damned Man 2001: I don’t know why I said the things I said. Pride’s like a knife it can cut deep inside. Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.

The Airport Mesa Vortex in Sedona, Arizona 2000 The very first entry into Diary of a Damned Man USA – Monday, November 19, 2001 at 08:26:15 (EST) DIARY Pilgrim Entry (Oct 2001) October was fucking… Read More »The very first entry into Diary of a Damned Man 2001: I don’t know why I said the things I said. Pride’s like a knife it can cut deep inside. Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.

You’re my food, you’re my water. You’ve got to be the devil’s daughter. Can’t get near, can’t get far. You’ve got the power, but know you are.

Linda Wines sent me a photo of a younger Nico (the one with the weird ear) and all I could think was F R A G I L E It must be Italian. photo 2018… Read More »You’re my food, you’re my water. You’ve got to be the devil’s daughter. Can’t get near, can’t get far. You’ve got the power, but know you are.

Influenza is the kind of disease, Makes you weak down to your knees, Carries a fever everybody surely dreads, Packs a pain in every bone, In a few days, you are gone. To that hole in the ground called your grave.

Lyrics: “Influenza Blues” Essie Ray Jenkins 1919 I have never ever been so fucking sick in my entire life. And from the feedback I’m getting and what I’m reading online its not just me and… Read More »Influenza is the kind of disease, Makes you weak down to your knees, Carries a fever everybody surely dreads, Packs a pain in every bone, In a few days, you are gone. To that hole in the ground called your grave.

And this flame that burns inside. If you get too close. Burn you alive. Just look in these eyes and see if they lie. All these words I speak. You cannot deny.

So this was an unexpected and pleasant surprise of a gift from Linda from upstate Michigan who also gifted me with the most wonderful and loving cat Nico last autumn. She also sent some really… Read More »And this flame that burns inside. If you get too close. Burn you alive. Just look in these eyes and see if they lie. All these words I speak. You cannot deny.

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