“Diary of a Damned Man” is a regular personal blog and update column written by Alex Zander, the founder and publisher of M.K. Ultra Magazine.
Rather than focusing on the infamous CIA mind-control program, the column functions as an ongoing, personal log of Zander’s daily life, localized experiences, and ties to the music scene.
• Personal Life and Local Happenings: Zander shares casual, raw updates about daily routines, cycling, and hanging out at neighborhood spots in Chicago—such as grabbing drinks or dining at local staples such as Tac Quick, El Palmar or El Mariachi
• Music Subculture and Media Updates: The posts frequently tie into the rock ‘n’ roll, goth, industrial, and alternative subcultures that the magazine has covered since its founding in 1995. He shares commentary on media releases, like music physical editions and vinyl shipments.
• Lyric-Driven Openings: Entries are typically framed with high-energy rock or darkwave song lyrics that set a rebellious tone for each update
Michael Pavlick, 50, of North Versailles, died suddenly Monday, June 3, 2013. December 10th 1963-June 3. 2013. Big Mikes birthday was yesterday and I observed long moments of silence and some loud ones in his… Read More »I picked up my bag. I went looking for a place to hide. When I saw Carmen and the Devil, walking side-by-side.
I was wondering why I haven’t felt well for the last few weeks and my my energy level has been so low and I’m so tired every night. I really started to wonder if I… Read More »Obsessed with fantasy, possessed with my schemes. I mixed reality with pseudo-god dreams. The ghost of violence was something I’d seen. I sold my soul to be the human obscene.
Spent hours Friday evening and Saturday morning boxing gifts and filling out greeting cards for friends and family. It was a lot. Saturday I took an Uber to the UPS store in North Center to… Read More »Darkest hour before the dawn. Times we know will soon be gone. Flames of freedom fill the air. I can hear them calling.
Mid November and the leaves are falling off the near naked trees. I take daily walks and the brisk air feels good after a long workday or a quiet weekend morning/afternoon. Though I can deal… Read More »If flesh could crawl, My skin would fall from off my bones,and run away from here. As far from God as heaven is wide. As far from God as angels can fly
I arrived back at home just before 12 noon on Monday 11/13/2023 after a long and unrestful weekend. I’m obviously out of practice or I’m turning 59 “years of old” in less than 1 month.… Read More »“The heat is coming down and I’m not laughing. I pulled my trigger, I’m blasting for action. I jumped into the saddle, I’m not walking. I’m sick of this town and all it’s talking.This city has no heart!”
It was mere minutes after Greg Duncan walked out of the back of the flat that my very good friend and producer Mark Williams and Kyle Eroche from New Orleans arrived walking into the front… Read More »She’s hot as a pepper, but smooth as a Mexican brew. So head for the border, and put in an order or two. The wings of the blackbird, will spread like an eagle for you.
Thursday October 24th 2023 possibly my last leisure bike ride of the year. Montrose Harbor Pier Halloween 2000 Humboldt Park Chicago Wrigleyville North Halloween Trivia 2023 with Max, Greg Drunken Duncan and Michael I’ve lived… Read More »Well anytime, any place, anywhere that I go. All the people seem to stop and stare. They say, “Why are you dressed like it’s Halloween?” “You look so absurd, you look so obscene!”
Post by Dan Milligan Saturday October 21, 2023 at 2:39 PM Hello, friends- Today, it is my unfortunate duty to deliver some truly horrible news. This past Thursday Bria Toulemonde, wife of my dear friend… Read More »“You can’t put your arms around a memory.”
On the Mk Ultra Sound Podcast with Alex last night. We discussed my music video Burning Planet, current events, my journey, our time together on the show, Ilker ReGen magazine and catching up. Exciting to… Read More »I loved you when you opened, Like a lily to the heat. I´m just another snowman, Standing in the rain and sleet, Who loved you with his frozen love. His second-hand physique. With all he is, and all he was. A thousand kisses deep.
Photo by Bob Hoeksema. Thanks BH! Well what do you know? I have time and energy to actually update this thing. Overall its been a very good month and it kicked off with Max Bravo’s… Read More »What do you want from life? Someone to love and somebody that you can trust. What do you want from life? To try and be happy while you do the nasty things you must.
